August 26th, 2011, 2:00 am

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Reply Lesbian Comics, August 26th, 2011, 12:06 am

Labels...I don't get them.. .. Obviously, this is over exaggerated, BUT I used to have an ex-girlfriend who would CONSTANTLY use labels. I was the 'fem' to her and she was the 'butch' as she would say constantly; she always had to brag about being 'butch' and remind me that I was the 'fem' in the relationship. When I called her out on it, she really did go on a rant on how I "didn't understand her because I was a 'fem'". I don't conciser myself a fem, and it was annoying to be called one in such a way where it seemed like it was 'bad'. FFF

(she really would say she was the “man” in the relationship not me…FFFF WHAT A SILLY THING TO SAY IN A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP!)

P.S. pardon the text heavy comic this week u3u

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User's Comments:

Reply otakulys, August 26th, 2011, 2:20 am

Ugh, how annoying! That sort of thing drives me nuts. My cousin and her girlfriend were talking about something like that once, and it was annoying the hell out of me. One was like, "Who's the man in the relationship? One of our friends was saying that, and I was trying to figure it out." And they were sitting there, contemplating which one of them was "the man," and I was like, "I don't want to alarm you, but both of you have vaginas."

God, it's such a heterosexist thing to say, implying that a relationship isn't real if it doesn't fall into the sexist confines our society has built, which requires one person to be dominant and the other to be submissive. Not to mention the sexism behind assuming the dominant one will always be the man.

Reply Lesbian Comics, August 26th, 2011, 3:29 am

@otakulys: THIS COMMENT...is very well said. Exactly how I feel about "i'm the man you're not" type of statements!

Reply Lashana, August 26th, 2011, 4:57 am

Don't you just love how in a lesbian/gay relationships somebody is always implying that being the 'man' in the relationship is a positive, and being the 'woman' in the relationship is a negative? As Otakulys said, it's tremendously sexist, besides the obvious point that in a lesbian relationship - there *is* no man. ^_^
I dunno, I don't much like labels myself. I get irritated at people who try to fit you into a mold.

Reply wilderulz, August 26th, 2011, 7:48 am

To the above comments....

Thank-you! So well put.

I mean, my friends used to joke that there was a man and a woman type role in my last relationship with a woman, but in reality we all knew that we had an equal relationship and that its so stupid (and insulting) to label your partners as "the man" or "the woman". Like Otakulys mentioned, our society is so stupidly hetero based.

Reply AlexChanIchigo, August 26th, 2011, 8:02 am

So true. Not only this one, but every one of your comics. I think every lesbian goes trough these situations. (except for the kid staring, EVERYONE experiences that. XD)

I always get asked questions like, "so...who's the man in your relationship?" I always reply with "no one. we're both girls" but they usually just go on with "yeah but... who's the man?" =_=" becomes annoying after a while, really.
I had an ex who was obsessed with being the 'man' in our relationship too.
I hate the fact that everyone tries to 'fit in' and put a label on everything and everyone. We all try to be within the limits of 'normal'. But 'normal' can only be defined as the opinion of the majority.
I completely agree with the previous comments. ^^

Reply FoxGoddessYoko, August 26th, 2011, 9:05 am

I laugh at those people. Lol its like why would I want a man if I'm a lesbian? Think about this for a moment people. -_-

Reply TheFemDoctor, August 26th, 2011, 10:59 am

Labels are ridiculous. Heck, even in a lot of het relationships the girl is the "man", so there's really no point to them at all.
I've had an experience like this, the first time I went out with a girl she announced that she was the man, and then proceeded to act like she owned me. Bluh.

Reply lkoinuchan, August 26th, 2011, 11:23 am

Bi-gender owo Idk. Maybe she's bi-gender and doesn't know the term...or something similar that I can't remember the term for because I fail. It probably made her anxious to be viewed as feminine in that sort of situation because dating a girl is something society tells us /men/ usually do (not that it's completely inaccurate lol), so it's associated with masculinity, and when you're bi-gender things associated with masculinity usually make you get more in touch with your masculine side. Then because you know you're physically female and there's a part of you that still feels female, you feel insecure and anxious and feel the need to assert your masculinity. Using labels can be the easiest way of asserting that because then you feel you have a name for how you feel and people will understand it. She could also be straight us transgender, but since I don't know her and it was implied that she didn't always dress "butch," bigender seemed more appropriate.

Sorry if I just ranted or over-analyzed, but I think I know how she felt since I'm bi-gender myself. o3o

Reply Sunshiggy, August 26th, 2011, 1:18 pm

Butches be bitches

Reply kill-the-damsel, August 26th, 2011, 8:57 pm

There's always someone who's more dominant in a relationship. No need to pull out the labels all the time, tho.

Reply Lesbian Comics, August 26th, 2011, 9:10 pm

@lkoinuchan: That's a very interesting perspective! That may have very well have been the case for her now that you mentioned that. She wasn't very good with communication and would shut me out for days if I mentioned anything she didn't like. I would have been more understanding to her if she didn't belittle me so much for being more feminine than her though...bi-gender or not, a relationship can not function (for me) well when one member is behaving like they are more superior while belittling the other.
Thanks for your input though! It was very good/ interesting

Reply lkoinuchan, August 27th, 2011, 12:37 am

@Lesbian Comics: Thanks ^w^ And yeah I get what you mean, lol. Condescention(sp?) is not fun.

Reply siskhi, August 28th, 2011, 5:09 am

I know a lot of Lesbians who are like this :I I really don't get it either...

Reply Bebaby, September 22nd, 2011, 5:08 pm

I'm a "butch" lesbian, in the sense that I dress like a dude, get called "sir" on a daily basis and talk like a dude. But I don't push that at my girlfriends. Especially since I'm generally the more submissive one.
But I have met a few lesbians on the other side of this equation, who constantly push that they are "lipstick lesbians". I accept you're more feminine and all, but that shouldn't define you, like what you're ex was doing here.

Reply reverendjack, September 23rd, 2011, 12:54 am

like straight men who chest-pound and fist-pump and swear to their straightness, i sometimes question the sexuality of a lesbian who feels the need to insist upon how 'butch' or 'lipstick' they are. i get the whole identity thing, i get that some people are just a certain way (how they dress, how they talk/walk) - but i don't think self-labeling (let alone labeling others) is going to prove anything to anyone, other than how closed-minded that person is.
oh well, peoples is peoples.

Reply Lesbian Comics, September 25th, 2011, 12:44 am

@Bebaby: Good. That means you're a good person and not stupid. Never change, and continue to be awesome to your girlfriends!

Reply Makichan, September 25th, 2011, 10:06 pm

XD I had a girlfriend that insisted that she was the "female" of the relationship...kinda redundant...>:I

Reply JuiceGira, November 1st, 2011, 7:35 pm

That reminds me of what a boyfriend of my friend said the other day, that everyone is looking for a man and stuff, and in lesbians relantioships there is always the one who plays the role of the man and stuff.. I was like most refrain throwing rock at stupid ppl!! ಠ_ಠ

Reply campanella, January 2nd, 2012, 8:59 am

well, she's shorter...that's not very butch

Reply Kiel95, May 27th, 2012, 6:42 am

Y'see, i think that if there are labels, than we should all be labeled "why the fuck does it matter?"

but since apparently that's too generalized for the public, i just go with "UNKNOWN" so that they'll think i don't know what I am yet... so they can suck it. Conforming to labels is stupid... especially ones created by a mainly heterosexual society...

i mean, did you know that most of the animal kingdom is gay, and out of all those different species, we're the only ones who discriminate because of sexuality?

Reply phineline, June 18th, 2012, 3:57 am

So awesome im going to die.
Shared this on a lgbtgroup im in, their going to kick my arse for this!

Reply Potatoes4Eva, July 9th, 2012, 1:17 pm

:I I hate when that happens. My BEST FRIEND (like ever) is a lesbian (I'm pan :D), and she's really against labels, but...ALWAYS uses them, out of habit and influence. And, it's just... If you're a lesbian, fact is you're MOST LIKELY to date someone who has a VAGINA just like you. Men usually do not have a vagina (except for me because I am the manliest man of all men ignore the boobs these are my man breasts of masculinity), and thus, there is no "male" role in a lesbian relationship. I can understand people being an idiot about gay MALE relationships (and I think everyone knows why), but c'mon; there is no "man" in a lesbian relationship, and there is no "girl" in a gay man relationship. *sighs*

Reply x-Ace-of-Spades-x, November 12th, 2012, 4:35 am

Ahhh yes. I really. Really. Really. Hate whenever anything like this is brought up. Especially coming from ignorant people: "So who's the man in the relationship?"

Um. Sorry but the last time I checked we were both female.

It's just . . . why do gender roles have to exist? I get labels. Some are helpful. Others are stupid and overkill. But why, especially in same sex relationships, do people think there must be a "man" and a "woman"? Having recently come out as genderfluid to my girlfriend, this is a strong issue for me.

Reply Renmazuo, March 26th, 2013, 11:46 am

It's interesting, 'cause my boyfriend and I often have conversations that end with "that's because I'm the woman in the relationship, right now"... and it's not always me saying it.

My fault, I sometimes have these weird theories, and I had decided that the woman in the relationship is always right, and then when he was clearly right once I said "that's because you're clearly the woman in the relationship, right now". And that's how it started.

Reply Tifa-X, July 6th, 2013, 8:52 pm


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