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June 12th, 2012, 9:58 pm

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Reply Lesbian Comics, June 12th, 2012, 10:21 pm

PERSONAL POST TIME! I became aware of my sexuality at a very young age, around 10 or 11 years old. I think this was partially due to the fact that I hit puberty at 10 years old so I was aware of myself and my sexuality at a young age (even if I denied it for years I knew deep down what was going on). I used to be super out going as a kid, but I believe the growing conflict with my religious home and my sexuality as well as people around me being a bit homophobic and stereotypical PLUS my nonacceptance of my sexuality and fear of it forced me to build a mental wall that protected me mentally. As a result I became more quiet and it became very difficult for me to make friends and to open up to people.
I came out of the closet to my close family in February of 2012 so a huge weight has been lifted, but the mental wall didn't go away. Because I've been in the closet for so long, this wall has become a natural instinct for me. I'm not shy, but I do have a hard time being open and relaxed around people. I'm often tense and quiet because that's how I've learned to protect myself as a child. It's hard for me to be open with people, but it's something I'm continuing to work on. It's a struggle for me, but I'm trying my best to chip away at this wall so I can finally be open with people! Plus it's just annoying to freeze up in social events. Super annoying.

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User's Comments:

Reply LittleBat, June 12th, 2012, 10:42 pm

*hugs* D:> You can do it sweety.

Reply richan222, June 12th, 2012, 10:42 pm

I remember when I was really young and I didn't have that wall. And then my "friends" completely crushed my hopes and dreams. UGH who needs people I'll just be an old lady with 20 cats!!

Btw I really love your portrayal of the wall

Reply Hetalialover, June 12th, 2012, 11:38 pm

sweetie i hear ya im not even out with my family its hard i know it is being a The only bi one in you family is hard telling them is hard ;A;

Reply Roboninks, June 13th, 2012, 12:20 am

Denial eats me up every day. Maybe someday I'll eventually accept myself but until then I have to try to fight off these feelings of fear.

Reply TicklePickles, June 13th, 2012, 1:50 am

RELATING TIME! I know how you feel. I realized I was into girls when I was in middle school. I was about 11 or 12. Ofcourse, there were signs when I was smaller, I notice that now. But growing up around people who hated and refused to accept gays made it hard for me to accept myself. I hated myself and repressed everything till I was about 13. That's when I came out to some of my close friends. I cried when telling them I was so scared of rejection. But, they accepted me(atleast some of them anyway..) and they showed me I wasn't an abomination. I'm still very wary about letting people know I'm gay. I still havn't even told my family. And I most likely never will. I love my family too much to have them look at me in a different way. (ohshyt. Did I write enough?!)

Reply MouseMute, June 13th, 2012, 2:38 am

The Wall :< I think everyone has a wall to some extent. I used to have a VERY intimidating wall, and social situations became overwhelming when they were non-existent as a child. During my sophomore year of high school, though, I became really close with some people that showed me that being yourself is acceptable and sooo much fun. Not caring what people think of you doesn't mean that people aren't going to like you, which was an idea I had struggled to get over for years. I love being myself around others because I know no matter if new people like me or not, those special friends of mine always will. The wall sucks balls. But I'm sure that one day it will disappear for you, too. :)
Good luck!

Reply rikku44, June 13th, 2012, 2:49 am

that looks like tofu scary tofu

Reply Kiel95, June 13th, 2012, 2:15 pm

I had a wall before too... but since then i've somewhat climbed over it with the help of friends and seeing how others were doing... i haven't come out to my family... but i have to my friends. I was scared at first, but one of my other friends had come out to them before and they were completely ok with it, and they're completely ok with it with me too :) Things have gotten somewhat better... except for the whole "The person I like is taken" thing... that still hasn't gotten better

Reply candyaddict, June 13th, 2012, 4:26 pm

@Lesbian Comics: its gonna be ok ^-^ their your family they are always gonna love you so they cant hate you forever. im the only bisexual in my family and the first at that.

Reply Lesbian Comics, June 13th, 2012, 8:26 pm

@candyaddict: OH, my family doesn't hate me. Not at all. They never did. They don't completely understand, but they try their best to support me and to try and make me happy. Even though they may not understand a lot, they try and that's perfectly ok with me.

Reply roxjey, June 14th, 2012, 2:33 am

the story of my life... and im still in the closet
you killed my hopes woman!

Reply twinklestar4884, June 14th, 2012, 8:57 am

I feel like you read my mind. This is pretty much the story of my life. All of it.

Thanks for making this, it's nice to know that someone else has gone through what I'm going through.

Thanks for making these comics, I love them.

Reply KatzyKins, June 15th, 2012, 5:10 pm

D; I know what you mean. I was recently rejected by someone I really liked, so...well my wall is slowly rebuilding itself. Dx all that hard work just to wind up back to start, neh?

Reply Lenn, June 18th, 2012, 3:00 pm

Man, I've never had to face the horrors of the closet, and I STILL have this problem.

I don't blame you! SOCIALIZING IS SCARY!

Reply Kiel95, June 19th, 2012, 10:05 pm

@KatzyKins: DON'T GO BACK TO START! You can do it! Just because the person you liked rejected you, they're the ones missing out! I know my ways are cowardly... but I just don't confess so I can't be rejected.. that way I don't rebuild my wall and am quite happy :) I'm still sad when it comes to hte whole "She's taken" thing... but that's ok... it's only been 6 years... i gotta get over her eventually right? :) It'll work out in the end, it just takes time~

Reply KatzyKins, June 20th, 2012, 12:51 pm

@Kiel95: Thank you for caring~<33 :3 This whole thing happened in January x___x; I just wish I'd be passed it by now. D: Your ways aren't cowardly, just careful :3 nothing wrong with that<33

Reply Kiel95, June 21st, 2012, 5:31 pm

@KatzyKins: ~ :D the best way to solve problems is with a little help ;) you don't have to do it on your own, and there are others who'll gladly support you, even if they've never met you before! (like me)

Reply KatzyKins, June 22nd, 2012, 4:07 am

@Kiel95: :3 Thank you~<33

Reply CrippleCakes, June 24th, 2012, 10:57 pm

"~In perfect isolation, here behind my wall...waiting for the worms to come~"
Can totally relate to what you're going through.

Reply missblackglass, June 26th, 2012, 6:45 pm

Haha the wall thing is a problem for me too :). You're still young though, so it can still be fixed, and it should be addressed sooner than later, before the people around you become more distant via jobs, family, etc. I'm starting college soon and socializing is a resolution for me :).

Best of luck :D.

Reply TomorrowsNightmare95, September 2nd, 2012, 9:55 pm

Hmm... Makes me wonder where the term "Come out of the closet" came from. I'm googling it.

Reply Trash Doll, September 5th, 2012, 6:20 am

Relevance I can relate to having that mental wall to protect you. In fact my wall practically fits yours too a T.
Though I'm not a lesbian or anything of the sort I've kinda built up my wall for about the same reasons that you and others probably built up the wall. Like rejection,criticism,getting hurt,ect. I also kinda tend to freeze up or kinda zone out in social situations that I'm not familiar with. This also tends to hurt me in a relationship because I can't really be open or throw myself into trusting my partner.
But hopefully that wall will fade or atleast become weaker so I can actually be comfortable with people!
I hope the best for you and that your wall also disperses! Good luck!

Reply x-Ace-of-Spades-x, November 12th, 2012, 5:32 am

Ohh.. I know that feeling DX My parents are very religious. Although I've come out to my friends, I know that my family would not accept me. I've come to terms with that, at least.

Reply LARPruler, December 26th, 2012, 9:36 pm

Figured out my sexuality (or at least part of it) watching Kim Possible. I SHIP KIGO

Reply RedCard137, August 31st, 2013, 3:02 pm

I Understand Completely I became aware when I was 5, but never found a name for it until I was I was 9. I'm 16 now and I'm still in my 'trusty' brick closet....ugh -_-

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