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October 22nd, 2012, 4:45 am

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Reply Lesbian Comics, October 22nd, 2012, 5:05 am

If anyone is doing this, stop it right now. Back when I was still in the closet, I had a friend who found out I was gay through a girl who found out by mistake.
I was not ready to come out, but she insisted I come out to my closest friend by the end of the week, or else she'd do it for me. Of course, I told my closest friend, (since I didn't want her to hear it from anyone but me), but imagine my surprise when I come to school the next week and everyone I knew suddenly became aware of my sexual orientation. I found out this friend told everyone against my knowledge and consent because she thought it was better for me, regardless of my wishes to come out in my own time. At the time I wanted to stay in the closet because I was personally having trouble dealing with and accepting my sexuality. This event led to a lot of stress, anxiety, a few nervous break downs at school, and a much worsen depression.
A few weeks ago, I met up with her again, and she proclaimed proudly how she “helped” me out of the closet and that I should thank her for her “help”. Because I was just so “deep in the closet” she had to drag me out.

If you have done this to your LGBT friend or any other friend, you’re a huge bag of dicks. You are not an ally; you’re a jerk trying to get non-existent credit for being a “hero” to us “poor closet gays”. Get your head out of your ass and if you want to support your LGBT friend follow their wishes and support them by not outing them without their consent. Going off doing what YOU think is best is not always what is best for your friend. If you have done this to a friend, apologize to them right now.

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User's Comments:

Reply lil_shiro, October 22nd, 2012, 5:14 am

Well, I begged my best friend who happens to be gay, to STAY in the closet or come out slower. Knowing him I knew he was going to hurt himself at the rate of which he was telling people. :I

Reply Kiel95, October 22nd, 2012, 5:34 am

Oh god…. I’m so sorry this happened to you D: dsfksljdfasdljfk… now I feel the need to give you a hug… What an ass that girl was! If I was there and knew about what this chick was going to do, i probably would’ve bitch slapped her into silence... that or just broken her nose... either would probably make her shut up...

Reply Lesbian Comics, October 22nd, 2012, 5:50 am

@lil_shiro: It wasn't your place to tell your friend to stay in the closet or slow down. If he was ready and willing, then let him do what he feels is best. Although, I'm sure you meant the best for him, simply respect his wishes and support him.

Reply lil_shiro, October 22nd, 2012, 6:56 am

@Lesbian Comics: Either way, he kept on what he was doing. And inevitably got hurt. He was bullied for a short time and became deeply depressed, but I did not hang it over his head. By his Senior year of high school though, he was one of the most popular kids. xD He's kind of a hard guy to hate, plus he is tough and buff as shit so you wouldn't want to mess with him. I'm always mistaken as the gay one when we go places because of it =3=.

Reply chance elric, October 22nd, 2012, 7:00 am

when i was in highschool it was common knowledge around just my circle of friends that i was gay only because i knew they would accept me, but when i went to college i kind of wanted to keep it to myself but the first day i was there my "best friend" took me around and screamed to everyone "hey guys, this is my lesbo friend" when i asked him to stop he said nobody cared whether i was gay or not so it didnt matter. we used to talk all the time but i havent talked to him since.

Reply Mythee, October 22nd, 2012, 8:23 am

Coming out is so different depending on the context, man. Though it wouldn't be the usual case, I can even think of situations where you want someone to find out from another person- like when, say, a dude is interested in you without openly saying so but keeps trying to get closer to you when you frankly aren't interested... so you've never had an opportunity to say you're gay, but you still want them to have a reason to stop it.

In which case the sooner they find out from another friend, the better. Yep.

Though the dude would totally confront you about it to verify the facts, which is to be expected, THAT is a conversation that can lead to friendship instead of annoyance! :D

That's awful that that girl did that to you though. @A@ I remember accidentally coming out to some people that didn't know I'm into girls when they tried to hook me up with someone. Immediately, I blurted out I'M A LESBIAN and was all. "UHH... BUT I'M ALREADY INTERESTED IN SOMEONE?!" which is true but I added it on because I felt like they may be creeped out otherwise for fear of being the target of non-heterosexual interest (which would frankly offend me, but yeah, I have a friend who is like that. The only reason I don't creep her out while being gay is that I'm not interested in her. But I think she'll come through some day on that issue. She's a good person.)

Reply Psycho Yuffie, October 22nd, 2012, 10:46 am

My mom actually did this after I came out and I wanted to transition. She wouldn't let me start taking hormones until I came out to the entire family. I came out to a few, but then I found out it was all pointless because she had already told everyone in the family. Me telling them in person was just an awkward formality. I don't think I had ever been so angry in my life.

Reply Lesbian Comics, October 22nd, 2012, 12:46 pm

@Mythee: In that case someone wants to come out to a specific person, WHICH IS WHERE HELP WOULD COME IN. It all depends if someone wants too. Your case someone wanted too, so someone helping them come out would be appropriate. I've been in that situation twice during the comics time period. One, I was out so my closest friend told him when he was showing interest (he was cool tho, so it's ok), the second one I was in the closet and he reacted terrifyingly when I rejected him. (I'm going to draw a page about it later). I'm glad I never came out to him, because I'm sure he's the type that would think I could be fixed and wouldn't stop despite my disinterest.
And guuuurl what is it with people thinking that "I'M GOING TO OUT MY BUD, BECAUSE I THINK IT'S FINE. I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY FEEL ABOUT IT, BECAUSE MY FEELS ABOUT IT IS MORE IMPORTANT." It's so rude. RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!!!

Reply Lesbian Comics, October 22nd, 2012, 12:47 pm

@lil_shiro: GOOD, SEE, SUPPORT IS EVERYTHING. It was still his choice to come out, but if things did end up like you said, your support probably meant a lot. Be the best. BE THE GOOD FRIEND!

Reply LunaMagi, October 22nd, 2012, 2:32 pm

thankfully my friends aren't ass holes, and they wouldn't dare to do that to me

Reply twinklestar4884, October 22nd, 2012, 6:43 pm

Mah BEHBEY D: I'm sorry that happened to you! I myself haven't been outted against my will (and I hope I never will be), but a friend of mine was. Somehow, the entire school found out within a day or two, and he got bashed pretty hard. He eventually changed schools.
I guess what I mean to say is that I understand the severity and imagine the stress this must have caused you.
You seem much more accepting of yourself now, and I'm happy for you. :)

(Also, while I'm at it, I'd like to thank you for being such a great rolemodel of sorts for me. I really admire your work, and your life! Wow, that sounded creepy >_<)

Reply Roboninks, October 22nd, 2012, 7:28 pm

I would have punched them in the face... Luckily for me I am finding myself more comfortable with who I am.

Reply katiebell<3, October 23rd, 2012, 12:25 am

im so glad you brought this up. its so wrong for people who call themselves your friends to take one of the deepest parts of you, a part of you that your not ready to show the world yet, and just flaunt it as if it were their own right? its violating.

Reply KatzyKins, October 23rd, 2012, 1:03 pm

Oh my God darling that's awful! I'm so sorry that happend to you D:> people are ridiculous! I actually had a 13 year old come out to me a while back as bisexual, she said she wasn't comfortable coming out to her friends or family. I'm a huge advocate for people coming out ONLY when THEY are ready. It's an incredibly personal decision, it should never be forced. That 13 year old bisexual is now a 15 year old lesbian :3 she seems quite happy too<3 I'm glad she's comfortable with it.

Reply The Zinga, October 23rd, 2012, 7:22 pm

SNAH!! :( that''s so sad :( I''m really sorry that this happened too u!! D: i 100%% understand what you mean,, it''s not right for someone else to make that chose for you and its REALLY not okay for something like that!! My friend is bi but she hardly tells anyone,, not cause she doesn''t want them too know,, it''s that no one asks lol.. and btw I made this profile just so I can post comments here :3 i love yo work!!

Reply amiko_16, October 23rd, 2012, 8:42 pm

oh wow D: People that do that piss me off so much. Luckily my own friends pretty much kept it to themselves, I think. And if anyone had done that to a friend of mine, there'd have been a fight.

Reply Lesbian Comics, October 24th, 2012, 4:36 am

@twinklestar4884: A role model? ME? GURL, I AINT' AS SMOOTH AS YOU THINK! I AM THE ICON OF SHY AND PANIC.
P.S. Thanks for reading, I'm glad my comic can make a positive (I hope) impact for you!

Reply MechaMax, October 25th, 2012, 1:44 pm

Personally I think that "coming out" is a horrible term. I'v always just thought that if homosexuals and bisexuals have to come out then heterosexuals should too. Otherwise none should have to. I've never had to "out myself" except for once when a doctor put me in a very awkward position. People know it as I just talk about ex girlfriends and my present girlfriend. It has been no trouble at all for me. So I think that no one should ever have to come out and escpecially not if you're not comfortable with people being aware of your sexuality.

Reply happybunnyntx, November 1st, 2012, 11:22 pm

Totally been there before. I come from a really strict household where being bi or gay is just not an option.One of my old friends found out I was bi and wanted to tell the world. Since I'm still going to school and live at home that's not really an option O_O thankfully it's still a secret, but a part of me wishes it didn't have to be :/

Reply ProfessorLawl, November 1st, 2012, 11:36 pm

People actually do that? o_O what assholes!! Then again the only time I've ever been in a closet is when I'm looking for Narnia.

or socks.

(Do bi people even get a closet? or are we more of a drawers and chests sort?)

Reply Rumiel, November 5th, 2012, 4:10 am

@Lesbian Comics: Just reminds me of all the bullying I ended up getting. Even red duct tape on my locker with "I'm a lesbian!" written on it.

I had enough troubles with foster care and my dad now dead from cancer. I did a bomb threat at my school and was thankfully expelled for the rest of the year and put in juvi to have my solitude of reading books all day.

Reply RainbowChick, November 5th, 2012, 10:05 pm

@Lesbian Comics:

Oh for the love of the fluffy bunnies -.-' I can't believe she did that too you!

You're awesome for sharing all these cute and smart comics, and I think you're a really good person <3

And don't let such stupid people get to you, throw them away and wave as they realize how stupid they've been to let you down

One again, I really really LOVE your comcis :)

Reply Floo96YG, November 6th, 2012, 3:09 pm

what a bitch D:

Reply TwilightRain888, November 6th, 2012, 11:37 pm

Beat her with a stick. Solves everything. yup.

Reply x-Ace-of-Spades-x, November 12th, 2012, 5:53 am

Last year I had some "friends" overhear me and my girlfriend talking at lunch and this one boy goes really loudly "WOW YOU GUYS ARE GAY?" And we both gave him this terrifying "you have three seconds to run for your life" look. So, naturally, everyone knew and people kept pestering me (since my girl is scarier than I am and scared them away from her x3) about it and asking all the dumb ignorant questions and I got really depressed and sick ... still am but that's for other reasons now.

Reply StormieRebel, November 28th, 2012, 9:33 pm

i was outted by my sister when i was 13. oh, and going to military school. talk about hellish. i lost all but three friends. my sister is a bag of dicks

Reply kitsune fire, December 20th, 2012, 9:59 pm

I had two friends I told in confidence that I was sure I was bi and had kissed a girl and one of them went and told everyone and my life sucked after that end of story =w=. Then I graduated from that school realized I was a lesbian and now I kick ass and take shit from no one <--- this is me over simplifying things lol

Reply LARPruler, January 1st, 2013, 5:11 pm

My friend outed me to everyone in school in about 2 days and then told the girl I had a crush on that I was in love with her which made me lose her as a friend and a couple other of my friends that were girls because they were afraid I'd try to convert them. But I did learn who my really good friends were then, so I feel happier now

Reply Murohshei, January 5th, 2013, 6:54 pm

I hope you told her off.

Reply futuredirected, March 7th, 2013, 3:31 am

Fantasies... Years ago, while in High School, I used to have fantasies about killing people like that who "outed" me. I got over it... more or less.

Reply Froststripe, March 25th, 2013, 2:13 pm

I accidentally came out to my mom when I wasn't ready. She wanted to immediately tell my dad, but I was internally freaking out. I managed to get her to wait two weeks or so before she finally said "I really want to tell your dad." So she ended up telling him while I ended up in tears.

Thankfully, my dad was completely accepting and my mom was as well. It's never easy coming out, especially when someone is trying to force you.

Reply Clouds.Of.Rabbits, July 9th, 2013, 10:59 pm

I should count myself so lucky then. Nearly all my friends have known I'm bi for years but have never once told anyone anything. And also never let it slip to my family...

Reply -Mim-, August 10th, 2015, 4:14 pm

Luckily i came out to my very loving mom first, who didn't tell anyone else unless i asked her to.

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